I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
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