you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
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