So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
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