and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
Randomize