I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
Randomize
