ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
Randomize
