Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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