I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
