He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
