we have officially lost it.
My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
Randomize
