but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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