I want to walk on stilts...naked
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
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