Fine. I'll sleep in my office
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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