So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
Randomize
