So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Randomize
