I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
Randomize
