it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
