how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Randomize
