Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize