If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
