Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
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