Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
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