Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
