I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
