The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
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