i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
Randomize
