Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Randomize
