I never want to see another naked old woman again.
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
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