she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Randomize
