You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
Randomize
