So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
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