so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
Randomize
