a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
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