i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
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