I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
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