Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
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