White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize