could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
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