I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
You did what with his pubic hair?
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
Randomize
