dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
Randomize