Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
Randomize
