I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
i came on her dog
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
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