It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
Randomize
