You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
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