Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
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