Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
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