Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
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