i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
Randomize