hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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