Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
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