she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
