garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Randomize
