my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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