Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
Randomize
