You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Randomize
