Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
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