I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
Randomize
