I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
Randomize
