North Korea, Best Korea!
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
Randomize
